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Crumbs and letters

So, are we creating super bugs with all of these anti-bacterial cleaning products? Is this virus any more contagious than a regular virus or is it just that everyone now is super aware of how viruses travel? I am not as concerned with contagions on groceries or in grocery stores, in terms of getting the virus. I am more concerned and affected by the social fear that people have meeting in the isles. Most people offer a wide berth and give space, but you can’t help but feel the fear people exude. I do my best to authentically be in and embody a state of calm and sincere connection with the vendors, cashiers and other people I meet. Simple caring polite exchanges and small talk seems ever so important to me now.

I am more careful driving, because I know under stress, I am more vulnerable to make mistakes. I have dropped and broken a few plates while I have been quarantined at home. Is it because I am doing more cooking or is it because in spite of myself practicing centering and mindfulness, I am still stressed like everyone else? Slow movements seem good, like one of those old timers I used to see walking around their farms very deliberately and slowly moving through their chores.

Starting out very disciplined by eating rice and beans, I quickly fell off the wagon. Rationalizing the impending fear of death, I figure I might as well enjoy that homemade organic spinach and ricotta pasta and that strawberry rhubarb pie.

Comforted by the Buddhist thought of impermanence, that this too shall pass my mind can rest a bit. But witnessing what passes for media, I reject the majority of what is called “the news.” It seems blatantly ineffectual to communicate, solutions, cooperation, innovation, accountability and acceptance of our global challenges. It traffics in fear and sales.

What an ingenious microbe this is, that keeps us apart. What makes the world go around are our connections. Bob Dylan wrote in one of his songs “You have to serve somebody. You’re going to have to serve someone.” Who do you serve?

Lately I experience a childlike appreciation of the season, a virginal state, novelty in the slow emerging growth of grass, weeds and blooming of flowers.

While rummaging through old cards in a letterbox I rediscovered a lifetime of love and dear memories shared with friends. I have gained renewed appreciation for the dishes being done at the end of the day, pleasure in cleaning the countertops, polishing the toaster and sweeping up crumbs that accumulate on the floor daily. On the other hand, the piles of papers on my table grow as I put off organizing.

I have likened this experience to a slowly moving wave. Repeatedly, I hear the saying “It’s a marathon not a sprint.” For this reason, I do not hang on the daily news. We are in this for the long haul. Trying to temper all suggestions, I resist extreme measures needed to protect myself, sanitize or react. Avoiding the fight and flight, I attempt to keep my movements mindful and aware. Contemplating death and disease, hopefully I can approach it like a warrior fearless, simultaneously keeping my arrogance in check so as not to tempt the devil.

What is left to think about in times of life and death? What is essential?

The Hawaiian Ho’Oponopono healing prayer is essential… “Thank you! I Love You! I am sorry! Please forgive me!”

It can be said in any order…

I would repeat it but hopefully you can feel it.

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